Thankful for God’s blessings every day, even for the things I take for granted. Good turkey, too.
This post is in response to the 53rd comment on my “Entrepreneurs” entry of December 15th, 2007. The comment made reference to a wireless company “My Wireless Rep”, and called it a scam.
I beg to differ.
There have been whole empires built on the quote, “There’s a sucker born every minute”. For Chinese companies that make iPod knockoffs that end up breaking after two months, the suckers are the cheap consumers that think they’re getting a deal. For companies like My Wireless Rep, Mona-Vie, Amway, YourTravelBiz and other companies, the suckers are the “representatives”.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s ways to make money in companies like those (obviously, someone up the line is), but if, to sell the product, you have to mention to the client that HE TOO can turn around and become a seller of this wonderful product, it’s probably because you’re pushing something that can’t stand on its own two legs. Take Mona-Vie, for example. A friend introduced me to this product… It’s made from the Brazilian Acai fruit, and supposedly works miracles for everything in your body (Makes you lose weight AND fights anorexia!). The thing is, it tastes HORRIBLE! The only way people will buy the 40 dollar bottle of nastiness is if they can somehow be convinced that they will be able to sell it to THEIR gullible friends.
The same thing goes for that wireless company– on their website, they take the number of total wireless customers in the WORLD (255 million), and tell you that if you can just snag 10,000 of them to sign up for your wireless plan, you’d be banking 24,000 dollars a month.
Sure, the math makes sense, but, honestly– how many people have you ever convinced to switch their wireless plan? One? Three at the most? The suckers are the representatives, and the head honchos bank the cash. In the end, these aren’t scams, just improbable business ideas that require insane amounts of effort to break a profit. Just remember: the bigger the rainbow they paint, the longer the walk is to the pot of gold.
By the way, I’m starting a company, it’s called EverMud. I’m selling bags of nutrient-rich mud from the pristine Everglades National Park– it does wonders for your skin! Rejuvinates, Restores and Revitalizes. PLUS, you get 5 percent of whatever you sell. Be your own boss! 5 oz bags are starting at $19.95. Want in?
There’s so much on the internet, screaming for attention. Everyone wants a piece of the action– to bank on the fast-paced feeding frenzy of distracted Webaholics. But how to get past the noise? How does someone get their message past the closed circles of friends and out to the general public? Here’s my take on things:
1) You actually need to have an interesting message. No one cares about how badly things are going from you (unless you have really juicy details, like the guy from iamfacingforclosure.com did). If it’s going to be personal, be prepared to make your life very, very public.
2) People’s time is getting sliced into smaller and smaller fractions. Give me the most information in the shortest amount of time possible. You probably haven’t read this far, because you’re busy websurfing on another open window. Video blogging seems to be the best way to go right now. Heck, just look at YouTube.
That’s all I can come up with for now. Hopefully i’ll try these things out, and see how they work
Let’s take a look at gas prices from a few years back, and current prices. Notice that the difference between gas grades remains the same: ten cents. Back in the day, a ten cent difference meant almost a tenth of your total gas purchase, but as we’re hitting 4 dollars a gallon, it really doesn’t matter much anymore.
I’d heard that premium gas was better for your car, and it would give you better gas mileage, so i decided to give it a try. My tank takes about 15 gallons, and when filled with regular gas, it gives me approximately 300 miles to the tank (20 mpg). Using the price from the Mobil picture, a full tank of regular gas would cost me $52.50, or 17 cents per mile driven. When I filled my tank with premium gas ( for 57 dollars), apart from getting a smoother-running engine, i got about 360 miles to the tank. This translates to 15 cents per mile driven. The added gas efficiency made the switch to premium gas worthwhile. Now, if I had done those calculations with the old prices, it wouldn’t have been such a big advantage– they both come out the same: 6 cents per mile driven.
So for 4.50 extra, I can have a cleaner running engine, and save money in the long run. I’m switching to premium.
I was browsing around, and I noticed this banner ad:
Well, what if I vote “No”? What would I want with this shirt then?
To soak in gasoline, maybe? To dress scarecrows?
These “Vote” advertisements get dumber every day.
What is the internet, really? When we get down to the tangible stuff of the internet, it’s nothing more than a bunch of pits and grooves on hard drives all over the world. But like any other abstract concept (like love, trust and freedom), the internet means many different things to different people. Here’s a breakdown by age:
Children 0-5 years old: The internet is what keeps them away from mommy. It’s like a TV, but with letters. And that’s kind of dumb, since Sesame Street isn’t on there.
6-10: Something amazing was discovered: Sesame Street IS on the internet! Mom just has to show you where it’s hiding! She types something in, and you can make Elmo sing and dance over and over AND OVER AGAIN FOREVER! This sometimes annoys mom, but that’s why it’s hilarious. The internet is an extension of the TV.
11-15:
With the ability to read and write comes the ability to get in on other people’s drama. The internet consists of three websites: Myspace (to hear about other people’s bizness), YouTube (for funny wipeout videos and the new “Soulja Boy” remix) and Wikipedia (for school research). The internet is a mix of TV for ADD-types, and an extension of the school hallways, where you can hurl insults at your inferiors, or gossip with your friends. AIM, MSN and Yahoo Instant Messenger have always existed. There is a little extension of the internet that lives on your cell phone. This extension is called “text messaging”.
16-20:
The internet is part of the daily currency of life, and is the final authority for everything. If you want to know if a company is legitimate or not, check their website. If there’s no website, there’s obviously a problem. When making a new friend, instead of jotting down email addresses, they only spell-check the full name, so they could “facebook” them.
20-30:
The internet is a way to make and save money. Internet jobs, internet specials, online textbook deals, they’re all ways for you to increase your cash flow. You can get rich posting videos, blogging, or web-surfing. If something is a certain price in a store, it’s most definitely half price on ebay. Music and videos are free on the internet, and free is good. Craigslist is an object of veneration.
30-40:
The internet can be confusing at times, but the gist of it is understood. It’s a place for lonely singles to meet, and for checking bank and stock trading accounts. Some remember the days when forms were filled out and mailed, but the internet is all about making things easier. It’s easier to pay your taxes, check your mail, stay in contact with family and read the paper.
New friends exchange email addresses
40-55:
The internet is like mailbox with a typewriter and screen. It zips emails off to other people’s online inboxes. There’s also a way to talk to other people for free , but it’s a little confusing (Skypipe, or something like that…) It’s good for sending some very funny stories to all of your friends, and for helping out little girls with cancer, just by forwarding the tragic news to everyone. Apparently, the American Cancer Society just wants you to forward the email, and they’ll give the poor girl three cents. The internet is a great philanthropic tool. ALSO, EMAILS ARE BEST UNDERSTOOD IN CAPS. THANK YOU. Any computer problem is automatically judged to be a virus. If the screen doesn’t turn on, it’s a virus. If the printer doesn’t print, it’s a virus. The internet is a wasps nest of viruses. Some people in this age group have discovered facebook, but cannot understand why their kids dont “friend” them.
New friends exchange phone numbers.
55-70:
The internet is what your children use when they print out pictures of your grandkids. There’s an air of mystery to it, but thankfully there are experienced people everywhere to help. If there’s ever a website that is listed on the nightly news or newspaper, write it down, and give it to someone who knows how to websurf. The younger someone is, the more they know about the internet. Then sit by them, and dictate what you want them to do (go down! wait, i’m reading! forget it, just print the website!”)
70+:
The internet is evil. There are scams everywhere. If a company has a website, be suspicious of it: they are up to no good. Senior citizens should not venture into the waters of the internet, no matter what, since they are preyed upon. Home computers, touchscreen pads and cell phones are threatening. The government is watching you through the computer. Stories of diseases, or “viruses” abound, and anything digital should be considered infected. Evil “hackers” will break into your house through the computer monitor.
There is something I find mind-numbingly stupid, and astonishingly brilliant at the same time: Carbon Offsets.
The Wiki defines carbon offsetting like this:
Carbon offsetting is the act of mitigating (“offsetting”) greenhouse gas emissions. A well-known example is the purchase of carbon offsets to compensate for the greenhouse gas emissions caused by personal air travel.
One company you could buy offsets from is a company called Climate Care. They have a carbon calculator, to show you how many “carbon credits” you should buy to become “carbon neutral”.
I ran the calculator to show how much I would owe. here’s what it looks like:
Your emissions from this car are 5.25 Tonnes
The cost to offset this CO2 will be £39.38
Hmm.. So if I wanted to compensate for my large carbon footprint, I’d have to shell out about 78 dollars to this company, that would in turn use that money for things like paying people to not chop down the forest.
That’s brilliant! Do whatever you want, and throw money at the problem to make it go away.
Let me use that logic in all other fields…
There are some bad, rich people in this world. I feel sorry for them, because a lot of times, their badness is what allowed them to be rich in the first place, like politicians and mafiosos. I propose a solution: Evil Offsets. I, and a group of moral, wholesome individuals will offset the evil that they do, for a small fee. The service costs 5 dollars per credit, with one credit buying ten minutes of good behavior. In the future, I’ll provide Evil calculators, so that potential clients can measure their “Malice Footprint”, so they can become “Morally Neutral”.
How about one for heiresses and pop celebrities? “Stupid Offsets”! For every credit, I’ll spent ten minutes studying.
If anyone is interested, I’ll set up a paypal account, so that you can start making your conscience feel better… Hey, at least SOMEONE is doing something, right? Heck, give me money! I promise I won’t chop down the forest!
In the end, I think carbon offsets are a fad that will soon go the way of the pet rock. Charities are good, since they don’t imply that you’re “neutralizing” your own actions, forcing you to be proactive as well as charitable. Hopefully, the media circus will get bored with global warming (just like they did with AIDS, endangered species, and the continent of Africa) enough so that people can start to think rationally about the situation, and come up with real solutions, if there are any.
Site maps suck.
As probably the most effective way of looking at all of the pages on a particular site, site maps are really underused and underdeveloped. a quick look at Google’s and Apple’s maps, I can see that it’s pretty plain looking.
I don’t think it could be all that hard, but if a page map were to represent the traffic of individual pages, and the hierarchy of pages in a nice, elegant way, it’d be a hit.
Forgive the picture, but this is a crude representation of what i’m thinking of. Highly trafficked pages are colored to represent what’s popular at the moment. Information could be displayed in a very dynamic way, and allow you to quickly digest information in one look.
I’m thinking that Java or CSS could be used to develop it, and be linked to the site’s page counter to show the traffic info. Tag Clouds are a promising start to quick site navigation, but it doesn’t let you see the hierarchy of the site. With all of the information on the web, there have to be changes in navigation styles.
Aha! I was right!
A newspaper called the “New York Times” ran a story on Jerry Yang’s keynote speech at CES. Yang, co-founder of Yahoo, told the audience that Yahoo was undergoing some fine-tuning.
Here are some excerpts: (full story here)
Mr. Yang displayed a prototype version of Yahoo’s popular e-mail software that had been transformed into a powerful communications hub. It could, for example, tap into social networks to give higher priority to messages coming from senders with close ties to their recipients.
That’s right. Yahoo is realizing that people don’t care about their opinion or their take on the news. People want Yahoo to step aside, so they can listen to their friends.
Mr. Yang said other Yahoo services would be similarly overhauled to open them to the rest of the Web and to run outside applications. Such a strategy has successfully been embraced by Facebook and others. The goal, Mr. Yang said, is to turn Yahoo into a primary online “starting point” for consumers.
Outside apps? Whatever happened to things like things like the Konfabulator? I guess Yahoo got tired of buying applications at hefty prices only to slap their logo on it. By allowing outside applications, Yahoo becomes a dot-connector, allowing them to focus less on application development, and more on administration.
I’m Mr. Yang used the word “starting point”. It implies something that you want to get away from as fast as possible. Like airports and train stations, Yahoo should see itself not as a destination, but as a site that allows people to get to other places easily.
Relying more on outside content and services, however, also means relying less on some of Yahoo’s own properties. The company has begun a process, which some insiders and analysts say was long overdue, of phasing out or consolidating some services, like Yahoo Photos, premium music, auctions and Yahoo 360, a largely unsuccessful social network.
Good job Yahoo. Why make shoddy features that hurt your image, when you can join forces with the programs and applications that are actually making waves? Cut the fat, become a “starting point”, and you’ll see your numbers go up.